Every day we’re called on to help parents understand the neuroscience of technology and digital media, and guide them to support the secure attachment of their children.  It’s a crucial aspect of our practice as therapists.

In our client sessions, we need to help parents deepen their understanding of the damaging effects of overuse of technology on brain development and the ability to develop emotional connections. We need to know what the research is saying so our guidance can be backed up not by opinion but hard data and facts. 

And most of all we need to give our clients practical advice on how to work with their children to establish an appropriate relationship with technology. 

In developing this training together, we were deeply moved and excited by how much Diane’s insights into Secure Attachment and Trauma and Kim’s profoundly practical understanding of how to create and protect security in children support and add dimensions to each other. We don’t agree on everything; you are the beneficiary of our dialogue and work together.

The truth is that we are only at the beginning stages of an entire new generation that interacts with the world and with one another differently. How this unfolds, and how we can be sure that our children use technology rather than being used by it, is the subject of this training.

We invite you to join us for this very special training, and hope to see you on the inside.

In appreciation,

Dr. Diane Poole Heller & Kim John Payne

P.S. Neither one of us is against the digital world, as evidenced by the release of this program. In fact we’re thrilled to use technology to reach thousands with this important material. This work is about understanding and using technology appropriately and keeping healthy relationships

“Our children are living in the undeclared war on childhood.”
–Kim John Payne

What You Need to Know About Secure Attachment
& Parenting in the Digital Age:

“As we heal and move toward Secure attachment we become aware of triggers and patterns in our relationships...we open our capacity to love and experience greater compassion.”
–Diane Poole Heller

Get Started Now >>


5 Hours of Secure Attachment Parenting Training

Each week you will receive in-depth training modules. Here is what you will learn:

  • Module One: Establishing Secure and Sensible Attachment Parenting
  • Module Two: The Four Concentric Circles of Connection
  • Module Three: Keeping Developmental Foundations Healthy in a Digital Age
  • Module Four: Neuroscience: Raising Resilient Children
  • Module Five: Healing Early Wounds to Bridge Back to Secure Attachment

2. Five Training Call Recordings

In these calls, we review all of the information in the training videos and extend the knowledge even further, talking about clinical applications for different types of therapists.

3. Transcripts and Downloads of ALL the calls and recordings

Along with transcripts and summaries of all the course training videos, you will also have access to transcripts and downloads of the calls.

4. Private Facebook Group

Access to a private Facebook Group that will connect you with a worldwide community to discuss the week’s course material, share experiences, give and receive support.

PLUS, You Will Receive These
Special Bonuses:

Media Manipulation

How advertisers use digital media to influence
children and parents and what to do about it

This bonus covers a few of the tactics that advertisers use to subvert parental influence and manipulate children’s desires.  Screens are marketing delivery devices, and it is helpful for both parents and kids to be aware of the kinds of advertising children see when using them.

In this bonus you'll learn:

  • How clever devices advertisements use to elicit fight, flight, freeze & flock responses from the amygdala, then present their product as a safe harbor or attachment figure.
  • How advertisers use our need for affiliation to convince us that we’ll be part of the group if we buy.
  • How advertisers see parents as “purchasing friction” and use tactics like “pester power” and portraying adults as stupid to get around them.
  • What we can do about it as parents & therapists to raise connected and compassionate children who thrive and flourish.

Unleash the Beast of Addiction

How to help our children manage and survive
the tyranny of technology & digital media

We explore how screens fit the criteria for addiction, and discuss how giving digital devices to young children primes them for addictive patterns of behavior for the rest of their lives.  We talk about ways for parents and therapists to prevent these addictive tendencies from taking root, or to help kids move out of addictive patterns once they’ve begun.

  • How screen-based activities are programmed to intentionally trigger the dopamine reward system.
  • How our brains adapt to a given level of stimulation so that we feel compelled to engage in more, or more extreme, addictive behaviors.
  • How addictions are labile and mobile, leading to compulsive & then addictive tendencies around many aspects of life.
  • How “socially acceptable” compulsive behavior with screens can move to pornography, drugs, serial relationships, and other addictions.
  • How “unfriending” on social media can build a habit of dropping relationships as soon as they become difficult.
  • Three ways to get away from screen addiction, and which ones are most appropriate for children at different ages.

What is Inside the

FIVE Training Modules:

Module One: Establishing Secure and Sensible Attachment Parenting

We will discuss Secure Attachment, and how parents can create a sense of safety and security in their relationships with their children. Secure attachment is the home base from which children go out to deal with challenges in the world, and to which they return. This involves allowing the natural rhythms of connection and aloneness and of harmony, disharmony and repair. The focus of this module is small, doable steps to help parents have greater connection with their kids.

In this Module you will learn to:

  • Move from the common feeling of failure or inadequacy as a parent to closer relationship with children and real understanding of their feelings and experiences.
  • Find a healthy balance between close emotional attunement and independence so that both parents and kids can have their own space and alone-time.
  • Step out of perfectionism and into the moment with your kids or clients.
  • Support our kids through difficult social situations at school and be a safe harbor for them to come home to.
  • Talk about difficult issues without overwhelming your kids or your clients.
  • Practical techniques for repair, the skill that John Gottman says is responsible for 80% of sustainable well-being in a relationship.

Module Two: The Four Concentric Circles of Connection

In this Module, Kim lays out his Four Concentric Circles of Connection, a tool for speaking to parents about the effects of screens without arousing defensiveness or dismissal. The four circles, from outermost to innermost, are Nature & Play, Friendship, Family, and Self. We explore what parents want for their kids in each of these areas, and how screens can interfere.

In this Module you will learn:

  • How to be pro-connection instead of anti-screen.
  • How play develops socio-emotional and problem solving skills that are key to success later in life.
  • How to convince parents and kids to limit screen time and make more time for family connection.
  • How screen use can erode children’s core sense of self that would steer them away from risky behaviors like drinking, promiscuity and drug use.
  • How to coach parents on dealing with grandparents who undercut family rules about screens.
  • How time away from screens actually gives kids an edge in the 21st Century economy.

Module Three: Keeping Developmental Foundations Healthy in a Digital Age

This Module concerns the natural developmental processes that kids go through, and the effects screens can have on them. We talk about the norming process that begins at home and naturally progresses outward through school and peers at appropriate times, but can be circumvented by early social media exposure. We explore the difference between healthy alone time and painful loneliness, and the confusion between them that social media can create. We discuss the effects of screens on the dopamine system, and how this impacts discipline at home and at school. We discuss the continuous process of belonging that has been ritualized in traditional cultures through rites of passage. Finally, look at the research on grit and determination, their role in long-term success, and the way screen use affects them.

In this Module you will learn:

  • The tremendous benefits of a predictable rhythm of simple household norming rituals.
  • The skills kids need to have healthy connection and avoid the epidemic of chronic loneliness that affects 20 to 80% of teenagers and 40 to 50% of elders.
  • The importance of healthy alone time to developing creativity, how screens can short-circuit this process, and how parents can support it.
  • How the dopamine delivered by screen-based activities diminishes motivation for daily tasks like school work and housework.
  • How limiting screen use increases kids’ cooperativeness, receptivity to parents, and ability to work through problems.
  • The three kinds of empathy, how screen use is contributing to an overall decline in all three, and the frightening implications of this trend.

Module Four: Neuroscience: Raising Resilient Children

We dive into the research on the neuroscience of Social Engagement. We look at the specific parental behaviors that lead to a feeling of safety and security for children, and how this sense of safety contributes to children’s own social skills. We discuss the effects that screens are having on this process. We go into detail about the way the social engagement system can shut down as a result of unresolved traumatic events, stress, or overstimulation. We lay out some approachable ways to start reducing stress and increasing safety and social engagement in the home.


In this Module you will learn:

  • The neuroscience of how we experience and communicate safety with one another, and how we can use this to help our kids feel secure.
  • How overstimulation creates sense of danger and reduces time in secure social engagement with parents.
  • How to recognize the effects of constant overstimulation or stress in children, and the process for bringing them back to safety.
  • The “undeclared war on childhood” in the modern world, and how to get your kids back.
  • The beneficial effects on children’s behavior when parents put away their own devices to be with their kids.
  • How parents can be the “emotional climate control” of their household.

Module Five: Healing Early Wounds to Bridge Back to Secure Attachment

Building on the description of Secure Attachment in Module 1, we go into depth about the three main ways that children adapt to a lack of Secure Attachment in their family of origin: Avoidant Attachment, Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment, and Disorganized Attachment.  Diane describes how to recognize these attachment adaptations in our clients, our children, and ourselves, and most importantly, how to build a bridge back to Secure Attachment from each attachment style. We also look at the ways digital devices complicate attachment between children and parents.

In this Module, you will learn:  

  • The characteristics of each Attachment Style.
  • Parental behaviors that lead to these adaptations.
  • Simple day-to-day habits to help parents who didn’t learn Secure Attachment from their own families to provide it for their children.
  • How a two to three-degree trajectory shift makes a big difference over time.
  • How screen use can exacerbate and even create unhealthy attachment patterns.
  • How each Attachment Style might use digital devices to cope instead of moving toward Secure Attachment.
  • The relationship between Ambivalent Attachment and “friending” on social media.


Secure Attachment Parenting in the Digital Age:
A Training for Therapists, Educators & Parents

  1. 5 hours of Training Videos [VALUE: $500]
  2. 5 Training Call Recordings [VALUE: $500]
  3. Transcripts, Video and Audio Downloads of ALL the calls and recordings

    [VALUE: $250]

  4. Private Membership Site with Easy Access to All Training Materials and Bonuses

Plus, these Bonuses:

5. Bonus #1 - Media Manipulation Video Training [Value: $50]
6. Bonus #2 - Unleash the Beast of Technology Addiction Video Training [Value: $50]

or choose the payment plan:

Money-Back Guarantee

I’m confident you’ll be happy with this program. However, if you are not 100% satisfied with your purchase, simply contact us at [email protected] within 21 days of purchase and we’ll give you a full refund, no questions asked.

What Others Are Saying...

Kim Payne provides a useful model for choosing our parenting stance—Governor, Gardener, or Guide—depending on the situation. Most powerfully, Payne begins with the radical view that children are not disobedient but rather disoriented. The upshot of this shift in perspective is that discipline is about helping children orient themselves effectively, not about controlling or chastising.

Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of Playful Parenting

Kim John Payne offers a framework to guide parents in making decisions about why, when, and how to hold tighter reins as we build skills in our children, and why, when, and how to loosen the reins as we scaffold freedom.

Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., co-author of No-Drama Discipline

Simplicity Parenting arises from dialogues with real people, from their questions and their needs. Kim John Payne is sharp, funny, and wise, and–best of all–he has something shattering but positive to say to an America that is struggling to know how to live.

Steve Biddulph, author of The Secret of Happy Children

Payne provides practical strategies for turning down the volume and creating a pace that fosters calmness, mindfulness, reflection, and individuality in children.Simplicity Parenting should be on every parent’s (indeed, every person’s) reading list.

Kathleen A. Brehony, Ph.D., author of Awakening at Midlife

Kim John Payne helps parents better understand one of the most challenging issues of our time–the hurried, materialistic, competitive, highly pressured nature of today’s childhood. After reading Simplicity Parenting, parents’ new mantra will be ‘less builds security, sanity, and connection.’ And they will have the tools they need for implementing this mantra in their families.

Nina Allred, Sandy Hook, CT

Diane’s demos are amazing. The most powerful and rewarding learning experience for being present with clients and also amazingly healing personally. It is true as Diane says that if attachment and trauma are present, attachment issues need to be addressed first- safety and recovery from that are so helpful for the rest of the work.

A privilege to be in Diane’s presence and exposed to the experience she organized for us. I experienced surprising insights, learning and inspiration during this training; I have lots of experience with leaders and teachers. Diane manifests love of people, good humor, professionalism; skill, generosity and humility are refreshing and make me feel deeply appreciative. Thanks to Diane and her circle.

Bob Barrett, Edmonton, Canada

Diane has been a professional role model for me for years. She is compassionate, caring, supportive and so committed to teaching. Diane is beautiful both inside and outside. I personally gain from her patience. Because of Diane’s big heart, sometimes I wonder if she works too hard. (Just a thought). I am deeply grateful to Diane and all her staff for all the work and thoughtful treats included in this training. Thank you for all your hard work!

L.S., Arroyo Grande, CA

Once Again, Here’s Everything You’ll Receive:

Secure Attachment Parenting in the Digital Age:
A Training for Therapists, Educators & Parents

  1. 5 hours of Training Videos [VALUE: $500]
  2. 5 Training Call Recordings [VALUE: $500]
  3. Transcripts, Video and Audio Downloads of ALL the calls and recordings

    [VALUE: $250]

  4. Private Membership Site with Easy Access to All Training Materials and Bonuses

Plus, these Bonuses:

5. Bonus #1 - Media Manipulation Audio Training [Value: $50]
6. Bonus #2 - Unleash the Beast of Technology Addiction Audio Training [Value: $50]

or choose the payment plan:

Money-Back Guarantee

I’m confident you’ll be happy with this program. However, if you are not 100% satisfied with your purchase, simply contact us at [email protected] within 21 days of purchase and we’ll give you a full refund, no questions asked.