When trauma hits us or we experience relational wounding, we can feel utterly disconnected… staying small, isolated and alone…fearful and helpless. We don’t always have the language to ask for what we need, especially if we fear we’ll be met with additional hurt or anger.
And if that pain continues long enough – where we can’t communicate or see real progress, we stay stuck…or worse, we give up.
As therapists, it’s supposed to be our job to support and guide our clients toward a healthy relationship, so they can experience a deeper level of trust, intimacy and mutual connection.
After all, we started our careers with a deep desire to help people. Most of us had a reasonable expectation that we were going to be able to change lives and free clients from their past wounds.
To us, there’s nothing worse than when we can’t be that catalyst our clients desperately need.
Our clients often come to us at their lowest, sometimes hoping against hope, that you will be the one to help them save the relationship, to restore it back to what it should be…to what they want it to be.
And when you’re working with two people in a relationship that’s already dysfunctional or broken, the stakes seem even higher. You must get it right.
But what can we say or do to help people emerge from incredible loss, fear and powerlessness to empower them to recover their aliveness and well-being?
The hard reality is that, even though many of us have poured countless hours and hard-earned money into traditional education, additional training courses or devouring all kinds of research studies, books and articles…
….we’re often missing a way to take all that theoretical knowledge and learning and apply it to our clinical work – we need the kinds of skills, interventions and techniques that can be individualized to any relational therapy.
Imagine a couple sitting across from you in your office, talking about the latest conflict in their relationship. One partner is clearly angry, aggressive, lashing out and taking a minor incident and blowing it out of proportion.
The other partner shrinks into her seat and edges slightly away from the conversation…arms crossed… visibly recoiling at every harsh word. She’s clearly hurt, confused and feeling alone.
As their therapist, you can see what’s going on. But just seeing it isn’t enough.
What are your clients really reacting to? How can you get to the bottom of it in a way that’s safe for both partners – and honors the way they need to be heard?
More importantly, do you know how to help them heal the wounds beneath this dysfunctional behavior, so the couple can break the cyclical pattern once and for all?
Research suggests that as much as 90% of conflict and issues that arise in adult relationships can be traced back to early Attachment experiences.
Not only does Attachment Theory give us a framework to understand how the past has shaped our present relationships, it gives us an approach to use to do something about it.
All of us are capable of repairing broken connections. But our clients can’t do it alone, because, as humans, we’re not wired to heal in isolation.
The good news is that Diane’s powerful, proven and pragmatic Dynamic Repatterning Approach gives you the concrete tools to help your clients change deep-rooted patterns and bring couples into a healthy, secure way of relating to each other.
“The Power of Attachment Theory is that it can be applied to any type of relationship…romantic partnership, parent-child dynamic, or even a work relationship.”
Whether you’re just starting out, or an advanced practitioner, many of us hold on to common beliefs or practices that may block us — or at the very least, limit our ability to help clients restore the trust, security and confidence of a healthy relationship.
Through no fault of our own, these common misconceptions or old habits stay with us, and can hinder our work to prevent us from being as effective for our clients as they desperately need us to be.
And that can leave us feeling as helpless and stuck as the very people we’re trying to help.
When you’re working with couples or people in dysfunctional relationships, the stakes immediately get higher than when you’re just working with one individual.
Unlike individual therapy, you’re quickly forced to navigate the nuances and Attachment Styles of entirely different people – who come to you with their own past wounds and deep traumas.
And yet, so much of traditional training only teaches us how to support and guide one individual at a time. We don’t always have the framework to know what works time and time again, so we can move our clients forward more quickly, securely and compassionately.
There is a better, more gratifying and enjoyable way to work with clients…that not only allows you to be fully present and collaborative…but also fosters true connection and love on a deeply human level.
In a relationship, both partners come to you with their own unique (and shared) problems – including a combination of potentially conflicting Attachment Styles and unhealed wounds.
Because of this, relationships are simply too dynamic and multifaceted to say there is a ‘one size fits all’ solution. What helps heal one relationship may not work for the next.
And when we limit our treatment options or stay inflexible (most often due to our own limiting self- doubts or fears), we may try to fit every clinical solution to our preferred method. And that’s not what our clients need for better outcomes.
That’s why, in this course, we’re not going to burden or overwhelm you by simply adding more interventions and corrective experiences to your arsenal without putting them into the proper context.
At every step of the way, we show you how to incorporate new tools, skills and interventions, so that your therapy sessions are hyper-specific and individualized for your clients’ unique needs.
Welcome. I want to share with you a life-changing online training program I’m now offering, called, ‘Attachment Strategies for Adult Relationships.’
When you join me – in a thriving online community of practitioners and colleagues – we’ll explore the topic of Attachment within the context of your clients’ relationships and Attachment Styles, sharing our collective knowledge, experiences and insights along the way.
At the end, I’m confident this program will help you identify your clients’ Attachment Style and understand their challenges, so you know exactly which language to use for each Attachment adaptation and how to apply specific corrective experiences to help your clients heal from the wounds of early trauma.
This is the course I wish had been available to me when I first started working with clients in difficult or broken relationships. Our work as therapists gets so much easier and productive when we really understand how to use Attachment in both individual and couples therapy.
If you’re new to the study of Attachment, this course gives you a strong foundation and extends the work you already do with individuals to couples. And if working with Attachment (or another method) is already a part of your practice, I promise you’ll significantly develop and expand your understanding of Attachment in relationships to master the practical tools and compassionate framework you need to navigate even the most difficult relationships.
I know that if you’re here, you want to be of the highest service to your clients…and as therapists, we are most successful when we can understand what is going on inside our clients, so that we can best help them.
It is my mission to help you master the language of Attachment Theory and provide the training you need to put these profoundly powerful tools and interventions into practice…so you can better help clients navigate the ever- shifting complexities and nuances of relationship and move them back toward a place of Secure Attachment.
I hope you’ll join me on our learning journey. Together, we can start a revolution of healing!
Dr. Diane Poole Heller
Founder, Trauma Solutions
Author, The Power of Attachment
Ronald D. Siegel, PsyD, Assistant Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School Author of The Mindfulness Solution: Everyday Practices for Everyday Problems
6 Video Training Modules
Each week, you’ll get access to a module that takes you through a practical and proven approach to foster a healthy relational space so we can help our clients heal and thrive.
• Module 1: Building a Foundation of Secure Attachment
• Module 2: Creating Safe Haven, Trust, Boundaries & Regulation
• Module 3: Attachment and Needs: Secure, Avoidant & Ambivalent
• Module 4: Attachment and Needs: Disorganized
• Module 5: Coming Back to the Present: Working with Encapsulated Child States, Memory & Dissociation
• Module 6: Developing Secure Attachment Skills in Relationships
Each week, you and your colleagues join Diane (and our bonus expert) for live calls to review the week’s teachings. At the end of the calls, there’s always time for your questions and answers.
Can’t attend live? All calls are recorded and posted to the private member area within 48 hours.
All training videos are accompanied by transcripts, because we know some people prefer not only to watch material, but also to have the written copy on hand.
Download the transcripts and use them for reference and note-taking.
You’ll join a warm, friendly and encouraging online community that supports you while you support others.
Discuss difficult cases, share your feelings, or tell us about your frustrations and wins.
Every client is ‘pre-programmed’ to create and maintain attachments with others. Helping clients return to Secure Attachment is simply a matter of breaking it down into teachable skills.
In this module, you’ll learn techniques clients can take out of therapy and apply to everyday life:
Boundaries & Regulation
Fear makes it biologically impossible for clients to improve their relationships. In order to create safety for clients in your sessions, you must first establish a foundation for trust.
In this module, you’ll learn practical ways to establish a safe haven, so you can teach clients to create a safe holding environment for each other outside the therapy office:
The health of a relationship depends on how your client relates to their own needs and the needs of their partner.
In this module, you’ll explore the ways that Secure, Avoidant and Ambivalent Attachment Styles affect different clients’ needs, so you can tailor your approach and have the right language for each specific style:
Unpredictable feelings and behaviors make working with Disorganized Attachment in a relationship particularly challenging. The natural impulses to connect and to protect often become entangled, causing confusion, dysregulation and conflict.
In this module, you’ll gain a deeper understanding on how to help clients heal so they can enjoy deep, long-term intimacy:
Working with Encapsulated Child
States, Memory & Dissociation
Helping your clients heal means getting to the root of the relationship problems.
In this module, we zero in on the core wounds that create Attachment patterns in the first place — and then we show you healing techniques you can apply to help clients move away from staying stuck in the past.
Once you have all the fundamental knowledge, you’re ready to incorporate new skills, techniques and interventions to help your clients build healthier relationships.
In this module, you’ll see what a healthy relationship should look like on an everyday basis, what can stand in the way – and most importantly, how to help clients return to Secure Attachment.
As part of a joint sponsorship with Commonwealth Educational Seminars (CES), you can earn 22 CE credit hours for this program, for an additional fee of $69.
Program credit can be awarded for the following professionals:
• Licensed Professional Counselors (MUST attend live calls to be eligible)
• Licensed Clinical Social Workers
• Marriage and Family Therapists
A Certificate of Completion is available to all participants at the end of the course (upon request) at no additional charge
For detailed information regarding CEs, please visit: https://dianepooleheller.com/ce/information
• Learn how to quickly identify Attachment Styles – plus, tips to help each individual navigate conflicts as they arise
• See how Avoidant + Avoidant Couples differ from Avoidant + Ambivalent Couples
• Understand what happens when a relationship goes from ‘electrifying to terrifying,’ because one partner has a history of Disorganized Attachment and needs help navigating the new sense of closeness
• Gain an in-depth neurobiological understanding of each Attachment Style
‘Be in the room’ virtually with Demos using strategies for developing a greater sense of emotional regulation and connectivity:
• Looking At/Looking Away Treatment Strategy
• Repairing Missed Connection and the importance of re-establishing safety
• Left-to-Left Processing vs Right-to-Right Connection and when to use meaning-making and talking vs attunement and resonance
• Tracking self and how to follow a person’s body cues as to what is happening real-time (in your session)
• Recordings of Live Demos / participant Q&A
You’ll also get access to all recordings, transcripts and special bonuses in this very special workshop focused on neuroscience and its influence on forming Secure Attachment in all relationships: personal, professional and romantic.
Therapists who work with individuals and couples will especially benefit from this bonus offering, as it helps you integrate all your previous trainings in the field.
Grow your confidence and enhance your skills as you gain mastery in applying Attachment and Trauma Resolution with clients:
• Learn from experts and gain immediate techniques to help clients develop health, love and relationship skills
• Live demos for each Attachment adaptation as they manifest in various relationship settings
• How to provide difficult, but necessary, feedback to clients while effectively maintaining your support role
• Discussion panels featuring participant case studies for immediate benefit in your practice
• Techniques to assist clients in developing interdependence in relationships
• The role of the nervous system in Attachment regulation
• Methods to wire the brain for love and contentment
• Learn the difference between secure functioning and Secure Attachment
• How to promote secure functioning
• What the ‘automatic brain’ is and what implications it has for pair-bonding
• What are ‘deal breakers’, how to sweep for and then manage them
• How to apply PACT interview tools
• What interventions look like in couples therapy
• Learn how to engage men (particularly difficult ones) in therapy
• How to get buy-in from both partners
• How to help men move beyond defensiveness and truly confront their difficult traits and behaviors
• How to enlist the functional adult self into an alliance
• How to work together through chaos
• How to teach couples to be honest about each other’s shortcomings in a way that brings them together
• Help couples manage the intense feelings of betrayal after an affair
• Understand the 3 stages of treatment
• Learn the role of obsession and which specific treatment techniques increase accountability
• Assess the meaning of an affair and the type of deception involved
• Navigate the final treatment stage
• How to untangle the couple’s enmeshment and identify each partner’s individual issues
As a Master of Somatic Psychology, Alicen has been trained in Psychobiological Therapy by Stan Tatkin. Alicen has 23 years of experience facilitating and assisting in the training of the Somatic Experiencing model through the Foundation of Human Enrichment (FHE, formerly SETI).
She’s also had extensive experience with Diane’s DARe model and is an Adjunct Faculty in the Graduate Somatic Psychology program at Naropa University.
Alicen’s approach integrates deep mindfulness and is informed by Eastern philosophy, her own personal meditation practice, yoga, dance/creative arts therapy – and the belief that by healing trauma, we all can have direct access to spiritual expansion.
• How to attract a partner who’s easier for your specific Attachment adaptation
• Quickly identify a potential partner’s Attachment Style
• How to protect your own Secure Attachment in a new relationship
• Understanding the difference between what’s familiar to us in a partner’s Attachment style versus what would be easier on us
• How to work with Implicit Patterns to create a new blueprint for our relationships
• Learn to be an ‘ally for relationships’ as a therapist or a friend
• How to empower clients or friends to be the change that helps bring a partner closer
• Whom you should share personal information with about your relationship (and whom you should not)
• 5 simple steps that improve ALL relationships
• The single most important thing and Avoidant and Anxious Attachment style can do for their partner to create trust and security
This bonus includes TWO Attachment Style Questionnaires — a short- and long-form — plus, you’ll get private access to my online survey that helps you quickly evaluate your clients’ relationship orientation.
I’ve been developing and refining these surveys for over 20 years, using them over and over in my own work.
• An overview of Attachment Styles and their specific wounds and gifts
• How each Attachment Style and adaptations develops in childhood through child/caretaker parenting patterns
• How each style manifests in adult relationships
• How to access clients’ original Secure Attachment in therapy
• Techniques for beginning the process of healing Attachment wounds
Secure Attachment to form deep and lasting intimate relationships
Total Course Value:
Hurry! Registration closes March 31, 2020 at 11:59 PST
This training program is designed to teach you how to apply theory into your practice so you can empower clients as they are in a relationship with others and help return them to Secure Attachment.
Attachment is used by all types of health and healing professionals as one tool in an arsenal they use to help navigate relationships in a variety of settings. This course will empower you to identify and work with different Attachment Styles.
Knowing your own style and that of your partner is the starting point for healing Attachment wounds and unresolved trauma. This course will help you develop the language you need as you move the relationship back toward love and Secure Attachment.
Total Course Value:
Hurry! Registration closes March 31, 2020 at 11:59 PST
Founder of Lifeforce Yoga
Author of Yoga Skills for Therapists and Yoga for Depression
S. Gross, Boulder CO
Bob Barett, Edmonton Canada
Co-founder of Colorado School of Energy Studies
Author of Dancing with Yin and Yang: Ancient Wisdom, Modern Psychotherapy and Randolph Stone’s Polarity Therapy